Ever since I became a pastor, people have begun lying to my face. It is not as if people tell me random lies like "I know Kung-Fu" or "I met Michael Jordan". Those are too obvious and are reserved for 2nd grade.
The kind of lies I hear are people not being themselves. Case in point: I was having a compelling conversation with someone who had issues with God and the church. He was really spilling his spiritual guts with me until he asked the dreaded question: "What do you do for a living?" It's not that I am in crisis with my pastoral identity--it's just I know what is next. I tell him I pastor a church of really great people... as I do, I watch his face fall. The colorful conversation turns from raw-honesty and curse words to uncomfortable facade and a whole bunch of "gee, golly's".
If you read this and are comforted by the man's change in vocabulary, then you really need to pay attention to this and when Jesus said "you strain out a gnat and let through a camel!" The gnat is the ridiculous false piety that we in our culture lean to. Big deal he isn't saying "damn" anymore. (While we do need clean speech, that was the least of his worries). The camel is why the man reacted the way he did, and he is only partly to blame.
Our sin keeps us from being real with others and with the Lord; it manifests itself in shame and guilt. The man shut down because he sees the church of Christ like many in our culture do: Much like the Pharisees of long ago.
We wear our WWJD bracelets and our crosses. We put fish on our car. We listen to "Jesus music". We put on a smile. When asked a tough question, the first words out of our lips are uncomfortable and insecure spatterings of "well the Bible says" and "you haveta believe".
"Hold on there," you are thinking, "This pastor doesn't believe that the Bible is the infallible Word of God!" If you are then you may be proving my point. Do we engage our culture intelligently and with love? Will that man care what the Bible says (at least right away)? He is more interested in whether you can relate Truth to him in love so that he understands it. That is what communication the gospel is, rather than "being correct". We are entering a "post-Christian era" in our culture so our days of soft and easy Truth telling are going away. Soon we will have to address the real Jesus to real life people in real life terms. We won't have to make God's Word relevant to others, we will have to show them how it is.
It isn't just non-Christians who lie to me. It is probably more-so people within the church. I only see the "good side" of many people. To a large extent, people seem to think that they have to have "arrived" in the faith to the place where knowing our weaknesses, our faults and tendencies are not necessary. The reasons why vary: Some actually believe they are ok and that growth really wouldn't help that much because they don't have any major issues (as far as they can tell). Some don't read scripture, but do know their culture and have created their own theology that tells them they are ok and that God thinks they are ok and that God will support them in whatever they do because "God is love". Wow, I wonder what it would be like for them to actually read the scriptures. Marriages have no problems (even thought the divorce rate in the church is close to 50%), kids are doing great (but when they turn 18, they stop going to any church), spiritual walk is fine (even though pornography, alcohol abuse, credit card debt, and racism are alive and well in the church).
"So quit whining Pastor! You know what you need to do! Preach the word! Get tough on them! Swing the velvet hammer!" Early on in the preaching ministry, I did just that. People get offended if you tell them what they need to hear. Even if you are completely convicted in prayer that you need to confront someone, and you pray about it and pray with your elders, you will find that people either react in repentance (thank goodness) or they say "how dare you! I have been coming to this church for 20 years and you come and are hear for 3 and assume you can tell me ____!" Wow. I wonder who they think the church of Christ belongs to?
I hate to admit it: Sometimes I am afraid that I am preaching to a people who hear the Word, but ultimately turn away. Am I preaching the gospel to their condemnation because they do not turn, believe and are healed!? Despite your theology of salvation, this is a disturbing thought. I hope that I am preaching to the city of Ninevah, who repent in ashes rather than Israel and Judah just before the exile who don't think there is anything wrong.
I am really tired of loving Jesus but having to guard myself against Christians. It makes for some lonely days. Just once, I would like someone to tell me the truth why they are leaving, rather than have them assume I don't want to hear why or have them be too scared to be honest. Just once I would love it if someone actually told me they understood that they were broken, and were happy about it.
Thanks for reading my rant. Ministry is also a great blessing to me. I know everyone is not like that, but it seems that way sometimes. Then I pray to the Lord and he brings me someone who really loves Jesus and understands brokenness before the Lord and we have a wonderful conversation.
Then I remember that Jesus will never leave me all alone. He sends his friends to help!
